The General's Jester
by mr-fable
Summary: Yuffie gets caught by General Sephiroth while trying to steal from the SHINRA building. YuffSeph
1. One: The General's Jester

The Joker's Steward

Note that: Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square-Enix.

Yuffie Kisaragi was high on adrenaline. She had managed to slip into the 60-storey SHINRA building through their air vault without beating up the guards or getting their attention after a week of careful planning and observation from the outside. She had packed light for the occasion, hopeful that such a huge company would bring her lots of materia and accessories to last her nine lifetimes. Right now she was crawling up the air vault towards the laundry room, to get a few useful uniforms to cover up her ass if she got into trouble.

She knew there were some BIG shots in the building. First of all was the head Regent Shinra, who first introduced the world his creation, Mako reactors. She knew that because they tried to introduce their product to Dad but he refused hands down. Afterwards it was practical they forced and budged their way through and it took quite a few good ninjas to take them out. Next in line was his heir Rufus Shinra, notorious for his smart and sharp comments. The news network system practically loved his face; there were the paparazzi that followed him wherever he went. His subordinates (or should she call them his dogs?), Heidegger and Scarlet embraced his spotlight, licking up to their boss and once in a while, if they dared, complimenting on the work they had done for the company. Yuffie scoffed at the idea and frowned. Next BIG shot in the company was General Sephiroth, well-known for his mammoth strength and fighting skills. He was a prodigy, legend behold. It was said he could take down an army single handedly and that came without a cut or a scratch! Yuffie gnawed her lower lip in thought, then relaxed for there was no chance she would be meeting the fearsome General in the building. All she needed was to get into the highest floor, grab a few stuff and gone she would be. Yeap, she mused, there was no way she had such bad luck…

True be told, she had no idea where the laundry room was. Actually, she had no idea of the internal map of this place. It wasn't like she had been here before; her curiosity had taken its hold of her and pushed her into the building forcefully with a gun on her head. Yea right, she was just lost because of her willfulness. Things were looking good as she slipped out of the air vault, hid behind a pillar and leapt into a laundry trolley covered with cloth passing by. She curled up and listened. The guy pushing the trolley did not seem to notice the extra weight thus it was no problem. (afterall, guys are muscle machines.) The few guards whom he strolled past had made fun of him, comments such as "Zack, you're passable for a laundry lady! HAHAHA!" and "What did you do this time to piss the General eh?" Zack would either laugh it off or grumble slightly as he made his way to the elevators.

Hearing the elevator doors close with a ting, she lifted the blanket covering her slightly and watch Zack press for the 59th floor and sighed out "Finally! One more floor and I'm done for the day!" she had to suppress her giggles and wondered what he had exactly done to piss his superior off. At last, the ting was heard and he had reached his destination. Yuffie skillfully wrapped herself in a blanket and rolled out of the trolley as he made his way out, pressed the 60th floor button and reached her destination. She peeked her head outside, thankful to the gods that she wasn't in any bad case scenarios usually portrayed on television about guards walking right into the lift to find a thief about to make his move. In fact, she had been lucky so far, the surveillance camera in the lift had portrayed bad graphics, camouflaged her wrapped up body to the elevator's white walls lest security had not been called. Tactfully, she threw the blanket down and slinked out, sprinting as fast as she could in that awkward position a thief would do. It was a one way road and weird enough, there were no surveillance cameras! At last, Yuffie reached the door (it was only 5 meters away) and as carefully as she could, she pushed down the handle. It was just as expected that the method did not work, the door was still locked until she heard a beep. Frantic, she thought the place was going to self-explode due to that little action and closed her eyes tightly. She heard a click and opened her eyes slowly only to find herself staring back at a silver-haired, chiseled chin and very puzzled male.

Before she could comprehend the situation, that guy pulled her into the room by the hand and then grabbed her collar, poised her like a little kitten and "carried" her to his desk. "HEY! What are you doing! #$ My top's riding up, you pervert!" She struggled until he let her down before settling down to a chair in a backwards position just behind him. Yuffie took the chance to fling a ten-point shuriken at him which he caught it effortlessly with a tug of a smile. She stood there, her body in defending position and waited for his attack. She glanced around his room and realized a six-foot long sword by the side of his desk. There, right in front of the desk was a name tag labelled "GENERAL SEPHIROTH". Feeling extremely uneasy now, she stared at her opponent, unable to predict his moves. She backed a little when he held out his hand containing the shuriken with a lazy smile and waited. Curious but cautious, she teetered forward and reached out for her shuriken, only to find the hand close and his head shaking with amusement. She frowned, "What was it he wanted, it is obvious I can't win him." Warily she tried again, taking out another shuriken from her pocket and laid it on his hand. This time, he did not reject. It was then she realized he wanted her to empty her weapons, she pouted. Yuffie had given him two-third of the weapons she carried and he was not satisfied. What! He cleared his throat, pointed at her ankles and socks; she grumpily took out the rest of her weapons and laid it on his hands. All her kunai, shurikens and materia were taken and she was left defenceless except for her hand to hand combat skills. As she continued to pout, Sephiroth took one of the shurikens and cut himself on the index finger slightly. Then he used the same shuriken to slit Yuffie's cheek a little and rubbed his wound against her wound. Yuffie blushed and cant help but feel that the gesture was a little too intimate. Then he reached forward and whispered into her ear, "You're mine."


	2. Two: Assumptions

Chapter Two: Assumptions

For a moment there, time just stood still.  
Yuffie Kisaragi had absolutely no idea what Sephiroth wanted to do with her.  
Random thoughts flashed through her mind as she stood there, looking nervously  
at her hands tugging her khaki shorts a little higher. Silence hung the stale  
atmosphere until she couldn't stand it anymore, she blurted out "Are you going  
to rape me now? You're not going to tie me to the bed or something right? If not,  
then you would have to find rope and then--" A look of horror draped her face,  
causing Sephiroth to burst out laughing. He managed to blurt out "…You would  
be too noisy for a bedmate." At this point, Yuffie's stomach grumbled loudly.  
"Oops?" He chortled once again, leaving her bright red, too embarrassed to  
insult his earlier comment. He stood up and headed towards the phone, dialed  
some numbers then grabbed some documents and studied them, leaving the poor  
girl ignored.

_WHAT? He's going to ignore me like that and leave me to starve?  
Starvation's a long process to die, I rather die now!_ Yuffie contemplated  
the pros and cons jumping right at him now and fight him hand to hand. The deductions  
turned out not too well, the conclusions all ended with a broken head, excessive blood  
or decapitation of limbs. Sulking, she did not dare to voice out her opinions or do  
anything reckless at the moment. She paced up and down the room, climbed the walls to  
check for more surveillance cameras, walked up and down until the door bell rang.  
Quickly she hid behind the expensive-looking velvet sofa, watching as she prayed  
fervently that he did not call security to do the dirty work of getting rid of her. While  
Sephiroth headed to answer the door, he pressed her head down slightly and gave a slight   
smirk when he passed her by and then opened the door. An irresistible aroma wafted in  
the room (apartment, more like it) and it seemed like ages when the door finally did click  
close, Yuffie leapt out of her spot and onto Sephiroth's back. He stumbled a little from the   
surprise attack but afterwards, seemed oblivious and continued to carry her to the bar, putting  
down the food on the table. She let go of the fearsome hug and swiftly situated herself  
opposite him, giving a big wide grin and waited for him to give the go to eat. He proceeded to  
scoop his meal, hovered the spoon while he glanced up at her. She was looking with such eagerness  
(one would have expected puppy ears on her head and a tail wagging from her bum), waiting for him  
to eat so that she could start. At that glance, Yuffie bowed her head. At the point, Sephiroth frowned.  
She was acting just like the rest of them, it was no different. They waited for him to give his command;  
no one seemed human in this building anymore. Disappointed, he pushed her plate of food closer to her  
and quietly started on his own meal. A minute of silence (not including Yuffie's constant growling  
stomach) passed before Yuffie raised her head and shouted, "Itadakimas!" and started to wolf down  
her food. It surprised the General immensely; she had taken effort to make them feel more comfortable.  
The little action had taken a lot of courage from her part and she wasn't going to regret it now. It was  
also in that moment; General Sephiroth realize that Yuffie Kisaragi was different from the others.

After the meal, Yuffie dumped the rubbish into a plastic bag and wiped the bar-top clean as she  
observed him. He had proceeded to study those documents on his desk, leaving her to… speculate his  
actions. He had not done anything to hurt her too badly; his gestures were that of a gentleman. These  
actions were contradicting the image he had as General; it was painful to the head to weigh all the possible   
scenarios, both good and bad.

It was true the bridge of trust was still taking form, there were a few stereotypes on her part (How could  
one not have a few assumptions when the other party is a GENERAL who has eliminated armies upon  
armies?) and it was causing her whole head a dilemma.

It was quite possible to have twenty positions in the sofa.  
As Sephiroth worked, he had taken a point to grab a few quick glances at his pet. She had been very  
restless the past half an hour, frowning in deep thought and changing her positions on the sofa in order for a  
more comfortable thinking spot. First, she seated herself like a proper gentleman; next she folded her legs in  
and sat Indian style. She rocked herself sideways and a few seconds later, she tumbled on her left and rolled  
onto her back. She stretched her limbs then stood up to walk around the sofa. Then she seated herself on top  
of the back support and lied backwards, letting all the blood rush to her head. And so on and so forth. She was  
very restless indeed. It was fun watching her move; her expressions changed often unlike the minions under him.

Yuffie's curiosity was a greedy yet fat cat. She had to feed it constantly or it would gnaw on her conscience,  
eating her inside. She had looked through the whole room for possible escape routes however there was only  
one, the front door. The lack of cameras in the room was another point proven that Sephiroth could handle  
any sort of thief or intruder. Perhaps he had made the maintenance team un-install them, after all one would   
like his privacy. She had recapped the whole situation from square one (when she got caught by Sephiroth) to  
her current state of predicament. She had not asked for anything yet, but he had given her food because he  
knew she was hungry thus this shows he ought to be reasonable, right? If she came across as rational, it  
should be no problem. And with that in mind, she marched straight to his desk and put both hands down on  
the table, blurting out "Since I'm quite done here and my business is finished, I think I ought to go! Thanks!"  
and sprinted to the door, only to realize that it's locked. Oh damn! She should have taken that into  
consideration and had not taken a point to study how Sephiroth had opened the door for the room service.  
She kicked herself inwardly and reprimanded herself.

Sephiroth chuckled softly to himself. She was interesting; the way she projected herself as an inexperienced ninja  
was so obvious. She could climb walls and do her skills reasonably well however her analytical skills were of no  
ninja. He rearranged his papers and left them in a tray. She watched him stride towards her with a smug expression,  
his head a little higher than usual. "I'm a GONER!" Her head screamed inwardly and she gave a sharp eep, eyes widening in shock.

A big thank you to my first reviewer, Spreckin :)


	3. Three: Television?

Chapter Three: Television?

Yuffie Kisaragi bit her lip. She stared at the incoming General, suddenly finding  
the air around her too sparse to breathe in, as her breaths became much shorter  
and heavier. She shut her eyes tight and mumbled a quick prayer, feeling the  
figure already hovering above her.

Immediately her eyes shot open, she tugged him down by grabbing a fistful of  
his shirt towards her (forcefully caused him to bow down to her height) and  
jabbed a finger on Sephiroth's chest. Then staring at him straight in the eye, she  
stabbed him continuously with that finger and demanded, "If you're not going to  
let me OUT, I promise you I'm going make this place a #$ shit-hole." With that she  
huffed, folded her hands (acting like a total brat) and continued to stare at him.

In fact, all her insides were tied up in knots, her legs were starting to become  
numb (it felt like her heart had stopped pumping blood), her eyes were beginning to  
dry and she had the crazy urge to blink (but she had to keep her challenging look strict  
on that face). Her mind was racing against time; she was sure she would die this time,  
coming up with all sorts of possible (as well as very colorful and creative) ways to die  
under his hands. She was waiting, waiting for his reaction.

He stared at her while she made her demand. There was something unnerving about that  
look and it could even be predicted that he was coming up with something naughty. He  
lazily arched an eyebrow when she finally fell silent.

She had surprised him, challenging him like that. He wondered what to do with her as he  
had never dealt someone humanely before. Before he knew it, his hand had subconsciously  
trekked its way on her head and ruffled her hair. It felt good; her hair was smooth against his  
hand and glided through his fingers effortlessly.

With that, he pinched Yuffie's cheek, tugging it a few times and concluded,  
**"I think you need television."** Scooping her up and throwing her on his shoulder, he headed  
to the lounge which was hidden from plain view.

Yuffie's legs had almost given way when he put his hand on her head for that split second.  
She thought he was going to crush her skull and leave her brains all squishy in his hand. Then…  
he had scruffed up her hair and it didn't seem so bad at all. He was weird; in fact he didn't fit the  
impression of a merciless General. Her insides slowly untangled those knots and she pouted when  
he pinched her face. Then when he declared "I think you need television," her expression was  
priceless. Eyes widened in shock, her mind went blank. _"WHATTTTTTTTTT!"_ it screamed.

"Wait! WAIT! ARGH! LET ME DOWN! #$" she shouted, pounding her fists on his back. Then  
she started whining and finally fell silent. Sephiroth was threading slowly intentionally, he found  
her intriguing and her actions fascinating to watch. Now he was just waiting,ready for her to  
stump him floorless again.

Yuffie glared at his back. She had to find out all his weaknesses to defeat him. With that, she  
poked him by the side of his stomach. _Hmmm, nope, no reaction at all._ She tried again, this time  
she wiggled her fingers softly against his shirt. _He isn't ticklish AT ALL! ARGH!_ Frustrated, she  
gave up and just hung obediently on his shoulder.

Sephiroth felt the fingers wiggling against his skin. He wondered what the action had meant and  
what purpose it was suppose to serve. Experimentally he poked her on her exposed stomach. She  
gave a yelp. Amused, he started wiggling his fingers as she struggled on his shoulder. She burst  
out giggling, her legs started kicking his chest and her whole body shook in a rather disoriented  
dance. In between her giggles, she ordered him to stop. "…AHAHA… stop... STOP! STOP…  
HAHAHA! TICKLING ME! …AHAHA! YOU… YOU PERVERT!"

Ah! This particular process was called "Tickling". He read it from the dictionary before, but it  
didn't seem very significant to him since he had not tried it before.

He ceased tickling the girl and put her down on the sofa bed in front of the television. She was  
exhausted from laughing forcefully, and laid down there to catch her breath. She wasn't graceful  
but Sephiroth liked her this way. Her hair was now a messy mob and her top had ridden up slightly  
more. _Hmm?_ He watched her stomach suck in and out from the heavy breathing, as her ribs rubbed  
against the skin, showing their form. There was even a small scar (from a cut he assumed) near her belly but...

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?" Sephiroth shook out of his daze and looked at her. She was sitting up  
and face now blushing scarlet, glaring accusations at him. He grinned and left her be in the lounge.

He was never good at lying, thus decided it was best to keep quiet and leave her pissed.

Notes  
(I think Sephiroth had no idea what to say when he finally concluded "I think you need television." HAHAHA!)  
A BIG HELLO TO Yumesutra, generic soda, Fujiko-chan and Gining. :D Thanks for the suggestions, I'm trying to keep paragraphs short!

Sending you my love :)


	4. Four: Trick or Treat

Chapter Four: Trick or Treat

Zack pushed the trolley down the corridor, to the very last room of the 59th floor;  
heaving a sigh. It was pure pain and torture, the job was dirty and nevertheless,  
boring. This was the 25th day and he had managed to complete all 35 floors of  
dormitories. He had never expected THE General Sephiroth to come up with such  
a punishment. And all because of a single photograph landed him into such big  
trouble.

He felt unjustified! Where was law and order when you needed them! It wasn't  
only his fault! Why was he the only one getting all the punishment? _Well, maybe  
because it was that time when he glued Sephiroth to his seat in the meeting room,  
hmmm. Or maybe it was because he had tried to dye his hair black to see if it  
suited him or maybe… (I mean… hey! wouldn't black hair go with emerald eyes?)  
BAH!_ He didn't get a lot of punishments, only a handful. _Was it because the other  
time he buffed Sephiroth's nails while he was asleep?_ _Or perhaps it was the other  
time when he…_ …hmmm, alright… scrap that, maybe a couple more handfuls.

True… he was the one who initiated the idea (the others just encouraged him  
tremendously and that boasted his ego, HEH!) but that didn't mean for him to  
suffer alone too! All he did was slam open the door while Sephiroth was bathing,  
snapped a photograph and ran out of the room. And it wasn't even a full body shot!  
It was only the upper half where he was topless and all gorgeous. That quick shot didn't  
even make him look fat! It was flawless! Indeed a superb photograph! So why was  
Sephiroth so angry! (Knowing Zack, he knows the reason better than anyone else but still  
chooses to ignore "it's-right-in-your-face" facts that the General does not like his pranks.)

What he hadn't expected was an announcement over the building's system declaring he  
do the laundry for all 35 floors of dormitories. At least, if one should look on the brighter  
side, he was now considered a hero for Section 14-A, that was where all the homosexuals  
were. (He made quite a bit of gil from selling that photograph too.) In fact, if one tried his  
hardest to look on the greener side, he thought perhaps Sephiroth had opened up a little  
more, giving such a ridiculous punishment despite his cool demeanor.

Zack heaved the 137th sigh of the day, patiently waiting for the laundry to be turned in.  
Sephiroth badly needed to loosen up. Zack had tried all ways to make him laugh and it had  
only caused him repeated failure. The General's eyes were lifeless and very empty. In fact,  
it would be even worse after his visits to the lab and meetings with Professor Hojo. (And he  
had no idea what happened during those meetings.)

Sephiroth would turn into a totally different person; in fact if one would stay long enough  
to describe him, he would label him a monster. Sometimes he did not even recognize Zack  
as a comrade or a friend but as a prey. He would glare at Zack with that malicious look that  
made him want to scream in fright. _It was almost as if Sephiroth could shred his soul just by  
that glare. _

His General talked to himself occasionally after those visits. Zack knew because he would  
silently thread in his room and observe Sephiroth. The first few times it happened, Zack  
thought he was talking on the phone. However the General hated handphones and tried to  
do without them all his life. The next few times he paced around, and seemed to be in a  
heated argument with himself. Zack never heard those conversations as he was quite far  
away from Sephiroth. Getting caught would have caused serious damage, knowing his  
General's temper and strength after those laboratory visits.

Being in this industry was harmful to one's mental health. The pay was excellent but one  
had to have a reason to live for in this job or life would be quite meaningless. Zack scratched  
his head, blushing a little at the thought of his family waiting for him to go home. Aeris would  
be the one waiting outside the gate for him, welcoming him with a big hug and the sweetest smile.  
Sidetracking a little, he pulled back from his daydreaming and focused on his current problem:  
**What would make his General smile?**

Thinking of his next prank as he scooped the laundry from his comrade, he felt an unfamiliar material  
in his hand. Looking at the source, he turned to frown at his comrade. This was the 40th women's  
throng he had collected this day! His comrades had been sneaking in women for bodily pleasure. His  
comrade gave a shrug and a sheepish grin as Zack shook his head and headed for His General's room.

Meanwhile…

Yuffie had snooped around the lounge for quite a bit. There next to the television area was the gym  
and on the right was a huge spacious room which held all his swords. On the left was his bedroom  
which held a king-sized bed, a room which held EIGHT wardrobe cupboards and a washroom that was  
as big as her house in Wutai. Speaking of wardrobe, she felt really grimy after a whole day of adventure.  
She was sticky from perspiration and was desperate for a bath. Searching through his wardrobes, she  
managed to dig out a white singlet and baby blue boxers; both small enough to fit her. The General had  
kept all his clothes and uniforms from his younger days in a single cupboard.

Happy with her findings, she headed to the bathroom for a refreshing bath.

Sephiroth answered the door. Standing outside the door was Zack, grinning lazily with the laundry  
trolley. Sephiroth cued him in the room with a wave of his hand and Zack headed to the lounge to  
grab his blankets and towels. Busy trying to strike a conversation with the General, he had not  
heard the shower running when he pulled the bathroom door a little open and bent down to reach  
for the laundry basket…

Until he heard:

**"SEPHIROTH YOU BIG MEANIE! ARHH! PERVERT! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH MY CLOTHES!"**

Zack's eyes shot open. He had not just heard a high pitched scream from the bathroom. He had NOT  
just heard a female's voice from this particular bathroom. The General's bathroom. NOT HIS VERY COOL  
AND COMPOSED GENERAL, no way! Twisting his head so fast to question Sephiroth, he managed to  
catch a glimpse of his General's amused expression in his eyes, gazing past him and to the bathroom. It  
had quickly went back to his stern conduct, as though that sacred expression was not meant for Zack's  
eyes but only to that mysterious person in the bathroom.

This time, it must be His General's turn to play tricks on him.

Note:  
I apologize for not updating soon but I've been working thus the delay. Zack's an interesting character to  
write on, especially since he's so playful. :) Hello to Kit Thespian and Magy! Thank you to all reviewers (Oh LOVE!)  
and (to Magy for) telling me that I've not been accepting anon. comments! Did this chapter satisfy your demands?  
I certainly hope it did :)


	5. Five: Laundry

Chapter Five: Laundry

_Ohhh! She was going to kill Sephiroth! He had such guts to take her clothes!_  
"YOU PERVERT! #$ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH  
THEM! SNIFF MY UNDERWEAR? YOU'RE HOPELESS YOU KNOW? I BET  
YOU WANT TO BURN THEM SO I CAN COME OUT NAKED? HUH HUH  
HUH! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? THAT'S YOUR INTENTIONS RIGHT?  
YOU BIG PERVE…" And this went on and on for the next five minutes until  
she finished her bath.

Zack kept quiet the whole time. He waited, curious to meet this mysterious  
person. Sephiroth had not chased him off to finish the laundry chores and  
had instead switched on the television to watch current affairs.

"…I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!" Yuffie slammed open the bathroom door,  
allowing the cold air rush past her and the sweet refreshing scent of citrus  
shampoo into the lounge. Hair still terribly wet and her clothes damp from the  
rushed dressing in, she scanned the room for a particular silver-haired General  
and finally noticed Zack right in front of her. Stunned for a few seconds, she  
blushed and finally bowed her head down as though embarrassed. It was then  
she realized her white singlet was about to turn translucent due to excess water  
dripping from her hair and quickly locked her arms on her chest.

Zack was speechless. The mysterious person behind the door had turned out to  
be a child. He always imagined Sephiroth would be the type who went for older  
women, yetTHIS (person)had defied all theories of Men. Standing right in front  
of him, was a BOY! Alright, maybe not but she sure looked like one. Her short  
messy hair framed her pixie face, slender and almost flat except for two small  
bumps on her chest as well as being dressed in a singlet and boxers, she looked  
like a boy of twelve who had not reached puberty.

Yuffie was stunned for a moment there. What was this guy doing in Sephiroth's  
room? Assuming the worst, she yelled out, "SEPHIROTH! DON'T YOU DARE!  
NOW YOU'VE BROUGHT ANOTHER PERVERT TO GANG RAPE ME!"

Zack was bewildered! WOW! This girl had guts! He watched her storm to the  
sofa bed, glaring down at Sephiroth whose back was turned towards him. Then,  
His General stood up and took her towel from around her neck and started rubbing  
off the excess water on her hair. "You would catch a cold if you're not careful," he  
simply stated and pinched her cheek for the second time in that day.

(The unfolding situation stared back at Zack who wasunable to comprehend his  
General's actions on the girl. Sephiroth looked like a mother cat taming her kitten.)

Yuffie struggled to run away however Sephiroth's firm grip was on her. Reluctantly  
she let him dry her hair, her anger simmering from his surprise attack. "Hmmph…"  
she pouted, "Owww.." when he pinched her cheek.Then when he had finished,  
he leaned forward, wrapped the towel around her neck and whispered in her ear,  
"That's the laundry man."

Fitting the puzzle pieces together, she declared aloud, "Oh! So you're the Zack  
who got punished to do laundry!" Zack smiled sheepishly and mumbled out,  
"Yea, I'm Zack. Nice to meet you…" Yuffie ran forward to look at him a little closer  
and then murmured, "What did you do to piss him off huh?" Zack had to grin; she  
was indeed an interesting character. ("That's for me to know and for you to find  
out," he answered.)

Quickly changing the question, Yuffie asked, "So what happens to my clothes if you  
take them now?" "They'll be washed and returned tomorrow, however I won't be the  
onesending them back. That'll be the REAL janitor's job; I'm done with these chores,"  
Zack shrugged and looked glad.

And at that point, Yuffie had a brilliant idea on how to escape the building. She would  
have to thank Zack if the plan executed properly, HEH!

"Oh! Alright! Here, take them!" She ran into the bathroom and grabbed her clothes,  
then stuffed them right into his hands. "Shoo shoo shoo! Go, go, go!" She watched  
Zack open the door with a weird combination of shifting the handle up and down  
and decided silently to try it for herself tomorrow. Then she sprinted past Sephiroth,  
to the sofa bed, plopped herself down and switched the television to the cartoon  
channel.

At the point when she ran past him, The General felt lonesome. He walked away from  
the lounge and headed for the office, looking for something else to distract him from  
that girl who had subconsciously affected him.

Notes:  
Alright! Quick update since today's my birthday:D  
(Have you all gotten the hint, hmmm?  
I'm not getting enought reviews... HEH HEH HEH!) so...  
**SEND ME ALL YOUR LOVE right now**  
and once again, I thank you for all the reviews  
coming in. Critiques are welcome however do put  
a suggestion on how to improve if you are going to critique. :)


	6. Six: Sense

Chapter Six: Sense

Sephiroth cleared his desk of all documents and headed to bed. It  
was a normal routine however something felt amiss. As he passed  
by the lounge, he noticed the television was still on at the cartoon  
channel. Strange, his television was never switched to the cartoon  
channel before; it was always news or documentaries. Watching  
two animated rabbits squeal in delight at the find of a mammoth-  
sized carrot, he arched an eyebrow and walked forward to switch  
the television off. One thing that turned him off about animations  
was how illusionary their concepts were. A soft snore that came  
from behind him disrupted his thoughts and he realized he had  
forgotten all about his new pet he stumbled upon in the morning.

Yuffie had fell asleep watching television, tucking herself into a  
caterpillar defense position to keep herself warm. The day's  
events had taken its toll on her; so much that she fell asleep  
without dinner. As she breathed gently, her captor watched her.  
She was mesmerizing, even in her sleep. Her hair was still in their  
bathroom glory, all untamed and not combed. Her eyebrows had knit  
themselves together as she frowned at the lack of warmth. Even her  
hands were animated in her sleep; they scratched the sofa then  
folded themselves neatly by the side. Those cheeks that he had  
pinched earlier were still so pale, he had liked it earlier while they  
were still pink and flushed. Carefully, he stroked her cheek.

That action stimulated a series of reactions. Yuffie sat up suddenly,  
sensing the soothing warmth and rubbed her eyes, stood up from  
the couch and headed into one of his wardrobe cupboards.  
Subconciously sensing it was similar to Wutaian cupboard beds,  
she slipped in and rubbed her face against the clothes and mumbled,  
"Mmm… Don't worry, I love you too Carbuncle," smiled and hugged  
the clothing tighter. Taken aback by her actions, Sephiroth looked  
down at the girl snuggle his clothes then managed a short "Goodnight"  
to his sleeping captive. As he was about to leave for bed, Yuffie  
whimpered out a "Goodnight Mr. Ifirt." The General stopped in his tracks  
for a moment and shook his head, not believing what he just heard. He  
had just been compared to a Summon, should he be insulted?

Yuffie had woken up, finding it hard to stretch in an enclosed area. It  
was terribly dark and cluttered with soft materials that smelt like  
refreshing thunderstorms and old spice. Fumbling a little with her  
surroundings, she felt around for an exit and burst open the doors,  
jumped out and surveyed her surroundings. So she had fallen asleep in  
the wardrobe cupboard from her analysis of the mess in her new-found  
crib.

Peeking into Sephiroth's bedroom and searching throughout the  
apartment, (fortunately) The General was nowhere to be found.  
Yuffie used her new expensive-looking snow white toothbrush  
(which she had made a clutter in the bathroom while exploring)  
and placed it in Sephiroth's glass, next to his obsidian toothbrush.  
It didn't matter where it was for she was getting out of this place  
with materia today if her plan was successful. Step One had already  
taken effect, the General was out!

Next, she made an effort to clean out the refrigerator. (Hmmph, HE  
even had first class sausages with cheese! Milk and orange juice,  
peppermint icecream! Bah, it could feed a country!) It was noon when  
she had woke up, that meant she had skipped two meals, both dinner  
and breakfast. After filling her tastebuds with all sorts of new high-class  
flavours, she sat back and waited.

Therewent the doorbell, Yuffie rushed to receive it. Before that, she  
hid behind the door and inhaled heavily before exhaling all the  
tension inside her. Next, she tried the series of door handle  
combinations (up, down, middle, down, up, middle) and "click" it did.  
(Afterall, she was confident that she had memorized it and there wasn't  
a need to practice in front of Sephiroth, was there? The plan wouldn't  
have gone well if he knew… would it?)

She pulled open, stared at the stunned fifty-six year old janitor for a  
moment, confirming he was the one she was waiting forand apologized  
rather happily ("GOMENASAI, HEH!") while she gave him a strong  
punch in the gut. While he was unconscious from the attack, she carefully  
took off his uniform and wore it. Afterwards, she tied his hands with a long  
ribbon strip she tore from the curtain covering the lounge, left the door to  
auto-lock and took off with the laundry trolley.

The baby-blue uniform was oversized! The cap was too big and kept  
nodding towards her eyes; the belt had not enough holes to tighten the  
trousers. Thankfully her clothes were washed and were safely tucked in  
the laundry trolley thus she would have a clean set of clothes to change  
into after her exit.

As she pushed the trolley slowly, she kept her head down mainly to  
cover her disguise (giving the guards an impression that the janitor  
was respecting their authority) until some nosy poker and his friend  
stopped her. "Hey, you aren't Janitor Oaks!" shoving her roughly  
on the shoulder.

Yuffie ALMOST punched him back on instinct however she knew she  
could not deal with security if matters went out of hand. Thus she  
narrowed her eyes and glared at Guard A and replied in a stiff dull voice,  
"Grandpa's sick today alright! Give him a break, you selfish bum! You've  
been working him late, you know!" At that remark, Guard A looked rather  
sorry while Guard B apologized profusely. "Oaks' a nice guy huh, always  
covering up for us when we sneak in the ladi…" at that point, he coughed  
hesitantly and continued, "Well, tell him Shears and Hatters sent their  
regards and to get well soon."

Yuffie briefly praised herself for having quick and smart brains and  
muttered an "Alright" toughly (she was pretending to be a boy at the  
moment). As they went their opposite ways, Yuffie heard their  
cautious greetings of"Good Afternoon Sir", (and before she knew it,)  
felt herself being lifted up by the collar, sulked and crossed her arms  
over her chest defiantly.

Well, so much for Plan A…

Notes:  
Not enough reviews to satisfy my greed. :( Still, I thank those who have  
reviewed and encouraged me nonetheless!


	7. Seven: Awkward Situations

Chapter Seven: Awkward Situations

Sephiroth dragged the little kitten all the way back to the lift.  
It was utterly due to fate he had met her at the 29th floor.  
Purely coincidental, he had just finished handling some  
matters over at the materia department (The Authorization  
of Regenerating MAKO with materia) when he witnessed  
two guards shoving a small janitor. The situation had  
caught his attention and the janitor's reaction was rather  
familiar. "He" had actually talked back to authority  
(complete with big arm actions) and glared them down.  
It was then The General recognized her.

In fact, she had been crafty enough to pull through all the  
guards on that floor. What was security doing these days?  
What would the laundryman be collecting in the MATERIA  
department? Radioactive chemical stained rags? Of course  
not, such air-headed fools they were. The guards that had  
greeted him earlier were whispering quietly to which provoked  
his temper. He turned and gave them a death-threatening  
glare and merely stated, "He's coming to pick some laundry,"  
and proceeded towards the lift. His kitten had almost gotten  
her toys in a moment and would have caused serious havoc  
if not for the fact he was there. _Then her identity would have  
been revealed…_

The silence between them was decorated with occasional  
"Hmmph"s and "Keh"s, pouting and more sulking. Yuffie's  
hands were wriggling as if they were yearning to scratch  
someone out. Her legs were itching to pounce; currently one  
of them was tapping the floor. Her face contorted to several  
weird expressions, unable to refine her emotions properly.  
Reaching to the highest level, he tossed her over his  
shoulder, knowing she would not budge from her position.  
She gave in obediently, head bouncing slightly behind his  
back while he strode his way into the apartment.

Despite acting sullen that she had been caught, she was  
actually more anxious due to the fact the General had caught  
her personally and about her soon-to-come punishment. She  
waited restlessly, fidgeting to keep her mind busy. He had  
planted her in front of the desk again and stood in front of  
her like a towering statue. Then in a split second, she caught  
his shadow moving forward, squinted her eyes in dread. Her  
whole body flinched when she felt his breath hover her  
mouth and opened her eyes, only to stare into emerald eyes  
that mocked her. "You're an awfully creative one, aren't you?"  
He hissed near her mouth. _He was too close_.

Artfully he slowly blinked his eyes, turned around and  
smiled evilly at poor Mr. Oaks who was still tied up. "You are  
not to breathe a word about this." With that, he chucked the  
real janitor out of the room, leaving the old man to untie himself.

Sephiroth studied her over. Indeed she had fooled those  
guards with that baggy uniform. She looked positively like a  
boy, if not for certain distinct features such as an elfin body  
and pixie face structures. A pretty boy, if one was to be crude.  
He could place her in the gay sector and no one would notice.  
A fine idea one which he could watch her while on duty. With  
that conclusion, he cupped her chin and pulled it upwards.

Zack had finished training and was heading to Sephiroth's  
apartment (despite being not permitted to and not on  
laundry service). Not only did he remember the previous day's  
encounter, he was ecstatic to find out what the girl was doing  
currently. Stepping out of the lift, he found a half-naked man  
wriggling like a dead fish and a grin broke out of his face.  
Things were looking interesting from the sight of this. Quickly,  
he untied the knots and set the frightened man free (who ran  
for his life). Zack was thrilled to find out what was behind that  
door. Promptly, he executed the lock combination to Sephiroth's  
door and pushed open to find Sephiroth leaning towards the girl  
with a hand on her chin.

**Awkward situations**, why was he always caught in them?

Yuffie was certain Sephiroth was about to kiss her.  
Zack was certain Sephiroth was going to kiss her.  
Sephiroth glanced towards the door, arched an eyebrow  
towards Zack and then whispered to Yuffie's mouth,  
"…You look like a boy."

And paused, letting the fact sink into her.

Notes:  
SEND ME YOUR LOVE, _won't you?  
yay 6 reviews for chapter six. :)  
_HAHAHA, i'm waiting for more kay!  
_HELLOto Anon, PowHammer,  
XMA-Evangelina and Seprion777!  
BIG BEAR HUGS to Fujiko-chan,  
Kit Thespian, Magy andYumesutra!  
I'm waiting for all of you to review  
ALRIGHT:) EATS UP ALL YOUR  
REVIEWS AS YUMMY BREAKFAST..  
_


	8. Eight: The Subject on Clothes

Chapter Eight: The Subject on Clothes

Yuffie was bored. He had been giving her the silent  
treatment after Zack left. Not that she wanted/needed  
his attention; when she had his attention, her heart  
pumped too much blood and she felt giddy, her mind  
had over exhausted itself, skimming through her brain  
cells for the so many possible ways to die that she  
could author a book. The only times she had his  
attention was when she had caused trouble and was  
waiting for her due punishment. Still the situation had  
not changed; she was still bored out of her wits.

_When the door had opened and revealed Zack to her,  
she gave him her most pitiful look ever with pleading  
sad puppy eyes and a pained expression that  
summarized all victims of war to take her away from  
this place. After the stagnant pause in his conversation  
with Yuffie, Sephiroth looked over at Zack and said  
monotonously, _**"You are not invited for dinner."**

_Zack chuckled; at least he was not the one in trouble  
now. It was much more fun watching from the  
sideline's point of view, no wonder his comrades  
enjoyed watching him carry out his punishments.  
"Doesn't matter," he grinned,  
"I'm here for the movie."  
And with that, he got hurled out of the room too. _

It was only half-past three in the afternoon when Zack  
had gotten hurled out of the room. Yuffie had dared to  
scoot over to the lounge after the brief reprimand and  
instantly relaxed when Sephiroth did not stop her. There  
after she had changed into Sephiroth's clothes yet again,  
she flipped channel after channel on television yet  
nothing caught her eye.

If HE was going to keep her here forever, what would  
she do! It wasn't that bad staying here with all the  
provided high class accommodations, but still she was  
being caged in. She would rather commit suicide  
(knowing her personality, suicide was not an option  
anyhow) than lose her freedom to this… THIS… hmm,  
how should she describe him? THIS UNREASONABLE  
MAN! (How contradicting; she thought he was reasonable  
the day before) She needed something that could threaten  
the General or at least get her outside for a while. She  
looked towards the refrigerator, she had eaten almost  
everything just now and it was quite empty  
comparatively to when she had first discovered it.  
Shopping, ah bliss, that was supposedly a girl's thing.

Carefully she thread over to Sephiroth who was  
currently reading a book (The Art of War) on his bed.  
She nudged him on the elbow and said, "I'm hungry  
and there's nothing in your refrigerator anymore."  
Silence met her coldly. "Helloooo? Yoooo-hoooo?"

Sephiroth glanced at her from behind his book then  
in a split second, his hand circled her waist and  
pulled her closer to him. "Hmmm, you don't sound  
very hungry to me," he mused, head against her  
stomach, listening to its constant rhythm. He looked  
up to Yuffie's face which was almost bursting from  
rage. "Ah, Sun Tzi was right after; 'Attack him where  
he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected',"  
he concluded lazily. Yuffie took the chance to pinch  
both his cheeks hardly (despite that he did not have  
chubby cheeks). "Bring ME OUT! I want to go  
shopping!" "…The refrigerator would be filled up  
later by the caretaker; there is no need to go shopping."

Yuffie jostled out of his hold and took a few steps  
backwards. "Look at this!" She waved towards her  
clothes and tugged on the hem of his shirt, "Your shirts  
are all too BIG! It's about to fall off from my shoulders!"  
To exaggerate this fact, she shrugged up her shoulders  
to which the neckline unraveled her flesh. Sephiroth  
picked up his book and replied, "Careful, it might fall  
off just this second." Instantaneously he was right behind  
her, pulling up the shirt that was revealing too much.  
"Now now, there are plenty of OTHER clothes in the  
cupboard," he reasoned, breathing down her neck.

Truthfully Sephiroth didn't like it when that particular  
shirt went down her shoulders. That shirt! It was  
covering her shorts and it looked absurdly like a dress  
on her. He could not stand it if there had been someone  
else who saw her in this state of undress and if he  
wasn't the one. Mentally, he told himself to check out  
his old wardrobes whether it was true all his shirts did  
not fit her. If he were to execute his plan to allow  
Yuffie in his troops, she definitely needed some  
cover-up. No other man was to look at her. He returned  
to his high and mighty posture while she turned  
around to glare up at him.

Yuffie's scheme was not going well at all! He wasn't  
giving in to her whines. She needed something more solid.  
She persisted, "YOU BIG PERVERT! TELL ME  
HONESTLY, YOU JUST SECRETLY WANT ME NAKED  
RIGHT?" **"I secretly want you naked,"** he deadpanned.  
"#$," Yuffie mumbled under her breath, consciously  
folding her arms over her chest. "Not that you have anything  
I want to see anyway," he stated shortly after that, and  
headed for the wardrobes. "#$... &" Yuffie screeched in  
fury, "WHAT ABOUT MY MENSTRUATION PADS?"  
_There, this time he has no choice but to concede defeat. _

Sephiroth stopped in his tracks. _Menstruation? _He smirked  
to himself; she had won the battle this time round.

And he was glad she did. And he was glad she did.

Chapter Eight-One: The Child and the Queen

Yuffie sprinted and positioned herself in front of him,  
observing his facial expressions. He had not blushed,  
in fact he seemed to be in a trance; staring forward.  
How dare him! Wasn't he lest embarrassed when she  
mentioned about her female problem? _Perhaps he has  
been around with lots of women; after all he's a General.  
No women can resist a RICH BASTARD except me, the  
Great Nin…_ Then his eyes suddenly twitched and settled  
on her. _…eh…. ja Yuffie Kisaragi. _"How troublesome, I  
suppose we could head to the stores today." Yuffie  
mentally heaved a sigh of relief and her mind threw  
confetti all over and jumped up, throwing high fives in  
celebration. _That's it, I'm THE BEST. _She yelled out,  
"YEA YOU BETTER!" "But before that," he paused.  
Yuffie kicked herself mentally; she should have known  
there would be conditions applied to his agreement.  
"Try the SHINRA uniform on. It should suit you better  
than the janitor's one," he firmly stated.

Yuffie had no idea what was going on in that ridiculous  
head of his. She reluctantly agreed and changed into it.

Sephiroth took a good look at her when she came out  
of the bathroom, still fumbling with the buttons on her  
sleeves. The uniform was thick and loose-fitting enough  
to cover her female features and yet not fall out of place.  
_Not bad, she's passable for a boy. _"You are to address  
me as Sir from now on and to join me for training."

_WHAT! THIS WAS HIS PLAN? TO KEEP ME HERE  
FOREVER AS A SHINRA SOLDIER?_ She screamed internally.

Something was missing. Something just looked out of  
place. He picked up the beret and carefully placed it on  
her head. _Nope, not this._ Ah! He threw her over his  
shoulder and carried her all the way to the dojo. "Pick a  
sword," he commanded after leaving her dumbfounded  
on the ground. Cautiously, she glanced through the  
variety of swords on the walls. Spotting a beautifully  
crafted long sword, she tried to pick it out of its holster,  
only to realize it was too heavy for her.

Sephiroth watched as she selected her weapon. He knew  
most of his swords would be too heavy for her; it was  
also a reason why the dojo had not been locked up  
during her stay. He watched her try earnestly to find a  
weapon suitable for her.

Yuffie reasoned with herself. Wutai was a country full  
of culture and heritage. Although her bloodlines headed  
way back to the ninja era, there must be some blood in  
her that was samurai. It was her chance to get back at  
Sephiroth; it was a chance she needed to grab hold of  
precariously. Perhaps she would even win a fight  
against him, nothing was impossible anyway. With  
that comfort in thought, she headed to the short swords  
corner and noticed a peculiar pair of katanas gleaming  
under the light. Their hilts were black and white  
respectively and the longer blade's hilt had a slot on  
its other end. Gently she picked up the longer sword  
and looked it over, turning it over. Instantaneously,  
the blade slipped out from the other end of the hilt,  
the sudden weight of five kilograms tilting had caused  
her whole body to swerve left. Engraved along its tip:  
**The Child**

It was an interesting sword, if she covered the hilt  
whole with her hand; it enclosed a unique hole,  
stopping the blade from moving entirely. She placed  
back the sword for it was getting strenuous on her hand.

Next, she picked up the other sword. Surprising lighter  
than The Child, it weighed about two kilograms less.  
There were no tricks to this blade; it was simple yet  
graceful in its own manner. There was a soft touch to  
it, yet it was like controlling the flow of water;  
fearsome and unpredictable. Indeed it was an elegant  
sword, upholding its name: **The Queen.**

Knowing well she couldn't handle two swords at  
the same time yet, Yuffie decided the lighter blade  
would be easier on her for now. She picked up the  
Queen and stood lazily leaning her hand on the  
upright blade, waiting for Sephiroth's command.  
And almost collapsed when he said, "Now, fight me."

Yuffie didn't know what to expect. On one hand, if  
she did not heed his command, she might be killed  
immediately. On the other, if she fought with him,  
she might lose her head entirely too. Either way, it  
wasn't looking good for her. "…I thought we were  
going shopping?" she asked meekly. "That will wait."  
Sighing to her ill fate, she bowed down and conceded,  
"I will try my best."

Although the Queen was lighter than most swords,  
it was still a new concept hard for Yuffie to grasp on.  
It was like an extra extension of the hand except it  
was heavier and within five minutes, she was  
exhausted. She had to grip the sword with both hands  
during the last two minutes for it was getting heavier  
each moment she shoved it upwards at Sephiroth's head.  
Next time she thrust the sword forward, stretching her  
arms to its fullest, it quivered a little due to its weight  
and strain on her arm. A few more random swings and  
swerves as she tried her hardest on swordplay, she  
plummeted to the floor and took deep breaths. Her  
moves had been predictable and Sephiroth had dodged  
them easily.

Sephiroth smiled to himself. She had managed to last  
five minutes despite swordplay being a new concept  
to her. It was proving to be an interesting situation  
altogether. To end the fight formally, he concluded,  
"You may get ready for the shopping trip." He watched  
her stagger slowly to the washroom for a refreshing bath.

On her way to the washroom, Yuffie had managed  
to console herself that she was of no samurai bloodline.

Notes:

I apologize that Chapter Seven was short  
however things had just to end there to build  
climax, you see. (Hello Gining and Magy!)  
Cliffhangers are there so that you would continue  
reading! I fear my readers would abandon me :(  
so here, I've taken a break from work to write two  
chapters. (so that I might be taking a break from  
writing the next chapter, HEH!)  
:) Good suggestions Kit Thespian and Seprion777,  
I'm thinking about it!  
Fujiko-chan, Sephi's naturally sexy.  
OH YOUTHFUL LOVE HAHAHA!  
Oh dear! Setana, you did not hold hostage  
of those kitties did you! Naughty!  
Thank you ellamies, PowHammer and  
generic soda:D  
_Do remember to review sweethearts!_


	9. Nine: Practice

Chapter Nine: Practice

It seemed that Sephiroth did not go out in his  
younger days. His clothes were consisted mainly  
of shirts and boxers (the rest were uniforms).  
Yuffie had a hard time finding appropriate  
clothes to go to the grocery store. When she  
thought she had dressed decently enough,  
Sephiroth commanded lazily from his desk  
for her to change again. Finally (at her 23rd  
outfit), dressed in a black T-shirt and light  
grey boxers, Yuffie had enough. "FOR  
GOODNESS SAKE! IT'S JUST A SHOPPING  
TRIP TO THE GROCERY STORE!" she roared.

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow in surprise and  
asked, "And what are you supposed to wear  
when you shop in the grocery store?" "THIS!"  
Yuffie addressed her attire with a big wave,  
"A normal T-shirt and plain shorts! Haven't  
you been shopping before!" A short pause and  
"No, I have not," he simply stated. With that,  
he stood up in his white long sleeved collar  
shirt and black pants and walked towards his  
old wardrobe while Yuffie kept quiet, taking in  
his revelation. Pulling out a brown coat, he  
draped it on Yuffie's shoulders and said,  
"Now we're ready to go."

"But you're overdressed!" Yuffie whined.  
"And you're underdressed," he affirmed,  
"It's going to be cold tonight." Silently,  
Sephiroth made a note to buy more formal  
wear for the girl while Yuffie decided he  
needed more casual wear. She was going to  
make him buy some with all means.

By the time they had finished preparing for  
their trip, the building was generally empty  
lest for a few guards and caretakers sweeping  
up the corridors. Heads were bowed down  
when Sephiroth passed by and his build had  
hidden her quite well thus her secret was kept  
safe. They proceeded to the front entrance where  
a chauffeur was waiting for them patiently.  
Sephiroth then directed him to head for the 24/7  
grocery store. Throughout the ride, Yuffie was  
silently looking out the windows.

Oblivious to her, Sephiroth was keeping watch  
on her. She was taking in the environment that  
Midgar was. It was in state of ruins; poverty was  
obvious among its people. There were children  
begging on streets while the elderly slept in rags  
for covers. Yuffie felt her heart ache and sat back  
from the view. She felt bad; her heart was aching  
terribly from guilt. She never stole from the poor  
(for they had nothing to steal) but she never gave  
anything to them either. And here she was,  
sitting in a posh black Jaguar while the world was  
out there suffering from hunger and poverty. She  
promised herself to be more lenient to the poor  
and MAYBE share her loot if she had more than  
enough.

Feeling slightly better from her guilt-ridden soul,  
she dared to sneak a peek through the window  
again, spotting a MATERIA shop. Her eyes lit up  
immediately, her body stiffened with happiness.  
Her hands gripped the side of the window tightly  
as if to stop her from jumping out of the car to  
grab those luminous orbs.

Sephiroth noticed the change in body language.  
She was easy to read when you pick up the pace  
of her body language. Her body tingled with  
excitement whenever she saw MATERIA. She  
was an emotional creature, it showed significantly  
on her body. She wore her expressions so open  
and free for the world to see. Somehow, Sephiroth  
felt she was too exposed and raw; it made him  
believe himself to be stronger and her, weak.  
And in just that single moment, he felt the need  
to protect her; to keep her safe from the world he  
had slain and seen.

As they drove past, her eyes stared after the  
shop longingly before it turned into a black spot  
in the corner. The streetlamps were lit dimly; it  
was almost impossible to make out the roads  
and shops but finally they reached their  
destination. They walked into it, finding it  
generally empty except for a couple of ragged  
old men looking for alcohol.

Grabbing a trolley, Yuffie started to make her  
move to the candy section and surveyed the  
variety the store held. She waited for Sephiroth  
to stroll ever slowly and painfully to her side  
as he studied his alien surroundings. He was  
new to this; grocery shopping was always taken  
care of by his subordinates. Everything in the  
store was categorized neatly along rows of  
shelves.

Noticing the girl eyeing painfully at the highest  
shelf, he stood behind her and reached for the  
chocolates she was yearning for. He took the whole  
box and presented it to Yuffie who stared wide-eyed  
at him as though he was strange. Quickly, she  
snatched the box from him and put it into the trolley.

Yuffie had hoped for just a bar of dark chocolate  
when he presented her with the whole box, she  
could not resist holding back. She made a quick  
grab of the box greedily, hoping he would not  
change his mind about the purchase. It was as  
though he had given his silent permission to take  
anything she wanted, thus she started putting in  
items of desire, occasionally looking to Sephiroth  
for permission. The General would sometimes  
give a shrug, at times when he felt like it; give a  
nod of the head.

Then Yuffie did the unexpected. She hopped into  
the empty spot in the trolley, and grinned up at  
Sephiroth. "Push me!" She exclaimed. Sephiroth  
gripped the handle and pushed down the lane while  
Yuffie happily instructed him to put in the items.

With a trolley half-full of junk food and candy bars  
(the other half with Yuffie, seated knees in); they  
reached the women's section. Yuffie blushed;  
embarrassed for her companion however Sephiroth  
gave no mind. He walked straight into the rows of  
women products and waited for Yuffie to pick her  
choice. Yuffie glanced quickly and spotted her usual  
brand of tampons, pads and pantyliners. Quickly  
leaning over to the side, she grabbed a couple of  
each, hugging them tightly to her chest and  
asked to make their purchase at the cashier's.

On the way to the cashier, Sephiroth asked, "How  
do you use that?" and pointed to the stuff at her chest.  
Yuffie sighed, resigned to her fate to explain the  
inevitable to this particular alien. She dropped the  
necessities into the heap in front of her and started  
her explanation.

"This is a pad," she made a rectangular shape with her  
fingers; "It's made to absorb blood when you menstruate."  
She made a dramatic action pinching air as though the  
imaginary pad was soft and squishy. "You stick it on your  
panties," (Sephiroth scrunched his nose in distaste) "and  
wear it. Finding amusement in Sephiroth's disgust, she  
continued her lecture. "It feels as though you have a wedge  
between your thighs and if you place it wrongly, you feel  
that it would be very uncomfortable to walk with." She  
demonstrated taking big steps with legs apart up and  
down the lane.

"Tampons are worse! You stick them up your…" She  
said happily before drifting away to silence, shying away  
her face and mumbled, "…vagina." Sephiroth arched an  
eyebrow at the sudden change of expressions, finding  
her swift change of amusement to embarrassment weird.  
She cleared her throat and continued, "But they're  
awfully convenient, you won't really feel it obstructing  
your movements thus it's always better to wear them  
when you're on the move or battling."

"Is menstruation bad?" Sephiroth asked innocently.  
Yuffie rolled her eyes and replied, "It's troublesome!  
You get tummy cramps and pains; you're not allowed  
to drink cold drinks and feel icky all over. At times like  
these, you need a hot water-bag on your tummy, or a rub  
on the back. Sometimes I just lie down and wait for the  
pain to subside."

Then Sephiroth pulled her out of the trolley, hung her  
on his shoulders and rubbed her back while the cashier  
bowed his head shyly, furiously grabbing the items from  
the trolley and packing them into paper bags. Yuffie laid  
there, stunned and finally managed towhimper "Stop it…  
I'm not menstruating now."

"I'm practising."  
And they made their way to the car quietly.

Notes:  
Are you still here with me? (I've been  
waiting for reviews :( sadly, there haven't  
been any.) I apologize for the late update,  
it's been tiring these days. Is the story  
getting too draggy for you guys? Hmm,  
I hope not. AndHELLO to apakoha, The  
Fiercesomest Dragon Ever and MizzLee. :)  
Will be waiting for your suggestions!


	10. Ten:

This chapter is dedicated to **EUNICE LIM MING RONG**. :D  
Chapter Ten: Parasite

Yuffie had fallen asleep on the way to the car due to  
the tedious random events which happened earlier  
on that day. First she had tried to escape, disguising  
herself as the daily janitor and had gotten caught.  
Next, she asked for a shopping trip but was delayed  
by a compulsory swordplay with The General. She  
had succumbed to exhaustion as well as the soothing  
rub on her back. Snoring ever lightly, she jerked her  
legs, shifting her hips a little to relieve herself from  
the awkward sleeping position. Grumbling slightly in  
her sleep, she pushed herself away from Sephiroth's  
back.

Sensing her compromised comfort, Sephiroth put the  
paper bags down and left the chauffeur to pick them  
up. Subsequently he took hold of Yuffie's waist and  
carefully swung her into his arms so that she could  
curl contentedly in her sleep. She stopped her  
fidgeting immediately (this time she didn't have to  
sleepwalk), sensing the warmth on the left side of her  
body; she rubbed her face furiously into his chest,  
embraced it with her arms like a bolster and gave a  
satisfied sigh, "…Mmmmm, I need a fluffier pillow."

Sephiroth felt her body warmth, her firm grasp just  
below his chest (two small bumps against his waist)  
and her face on his breast, breathing softly. In that  
split second, his face allowed a moment of weakness:  
an expression of daze and he slowly felt flushed. The  
gesture itself was harmless (the other party being  
unconscious of her actions, snoring away) however it  
was his first hug and he didn't know how to react.  
Awkwardly, he held her tighter towards him (if it was  
still even possible) and kept a straight face despite  
being awfully embarrassed at his reactions to an  
unconscious sleeping figure.

The trip back was quite a peaceful one, she did not try  
to sleepwalk out of the car or change her sleeping  
position too much but rambled random stuff such as  
"Yes please, more bacon and eggs", "Nooo, I don't  
want to go to school today" and "Breakfast in bed,  
'kay?" Best of all her random ramblings was a really  
exaggerated frown, rocking of knees and furious nods  
of the head "Uh huh… I'm rweally rweally sick today"  
and after a while came a really sneaky cheeky evil  
chuckle.

Sephiroth stared at that obvious liar and almost exploded  
from storing his laughter. She even managed to amuse him  
in her sleep; she was just the impossible staring right back  
at him.

The building was almost empty now they have had  
finished their shopping. It was a successful way up to his  
apartment with no obstacles (nosy pokers such as guards  
and namely, a SOLDIER namedZACK) for there always  
seemed to be a dangerous aura a kilometer radius around  
him.

In his lounge, he attempted to pluck the parasite from him  
however it deemed useless against this little monster's  
craving for warmth. An arm supported her back while the  
other aimed her waist and started tickling. Yuffie's arms  
shot out of her embrace to fight against the invading hand.  
Quickly using the chance, Sephiroth's tickling hand  
grabbed the neckline of her shirt and lifted her, an arm's  
length away from his main (and now safe) body. She  
fidgeted, pawing the air, blinding groping for something  
warmth to grab on and went limp a few seconds later,  
mumbling "Awwww, Mr. Coddles, how could you?"  
and gave a dramatic sigh.

The baggy shirt was wrenching on his grip and Yuffie  
was dangerously slipping out of it. Her midriff was  
already exposed and if he didn't act something fast,  
she would slip out of it and end up lying half-naked  
on the floor. (no singlets and whatsoever) However  
he needed to get out of her grasp, knowing she  
would insistently accuse him of molest  
(just imagining the usual routine of "#$&#$&…YOU  
PERVERT!" and etc would be enough) the next thing  
in the morning (and things were only going to get more  
troublesome but still it would be fun to watch her fume)  
and the only solution was to keep her away from him.  
Strange, half of him was reluctant to let go the concept  
of another embrace while the other half having more  
integrity, was weakly demanding for more responsibility.

Still contemplating what should he do with her, Yuffie  
suddenly exclaimed, "AHHH! BRRRRR, it's cold in  
here!" Tugged on her shirt and wrapped an arm around  
her waist, pulled out some imaginary orb and grunted,  
"Fire".

Sephiroth watched the series of actions unfold then  
gently put her down on the floor in a heap of limbs.  
She immediately stood up from the cold marble floor  
and sleepwalked right into his wardrobe. He deduced  
that she was in a semi-state of sleep, dreaming of  
herself camping outdoors and in her usual (flimsy)  
outfit which consisted of an extra small-sized green  
turtleneck and khaki shorts (at this thought, he  
frowned). He proceeded to wonder vaguely how she  
countered attacks in her sleep at night in the wilderness.  
(Perhaps the monster would have been burnt to death  
by materia and she wouldn't even have noticed a  
burnt corpse next to her the next morning.) Deciding  
it would be a furtile attempt as well as inviting  
headaches to ponder on such a wide range of both  
possible and impossible from this girl, he headed for  
sleep.

Notes:  
A short chapter but I hope it's soooo sweet of Yuffie's  
sleepwalking and sleeptalking, you'll forgive me, right?  
AHHH! I am so happy that there are more people reviewing!

I wanna say my HELLOs to ? (man, you're mysterious, LOL!),  
Fae Black (oh btw, I really like that penname, it reminds me of Holly Black's Tithe and oh ya, who's Misao Makimachi:)),  
LadyKisaragi (And tomilady, a kiss on the hand!)  
the Fiercesomest Dragon Ever(oh boy, I better update soon or I'll get burnt by breathfire),  
secretsquirrell (AWWW, MR CODDLES! HAHAHA!)and  
gyhardin (I was thinking maybe around 15? Before she meets AVALAUNCHE in the game, cause I've thought of an ending  
already)

But you wouldn't want it to end now, would you? Neither do I. LOL!

AndMY LOVE TO  
bftPURPLE  
Magy:)  
XMA-Evanglina:)  
Fujiko-chan:)  
Yumesutra:)  
Kit Thespian:)  
Setana:)  
Gining :)  
generic soda :)  
Seprion777 :)  
MizzLee :)  
apakoha :)  
PowHammer :)  
ellamies :)  
Anon:)  
Spreckin :)  
(sorry if I missed out any. Did I?)  
and to all secret readers out there, I'm waitinggggg :D


	11. Eleven: Morning

This chapter is dedicated to **Magy** and **Setana**.  
Note: Spongebob Squarepants and co. do not belong to me.

Chapter Eleven: Morning

Burrowing snuggly into the bundle of clothes she had used as a bed,  
Yuffie was quite unwilling to wake up. The various pokes on her waist  
had her slapping off the irritating finger, curling into a tighter bun and  
shifting further into the wardrobe cupboard to avoid it. Nevertheless,  
the incessant poking did not stop and she frowned. Sitting up, she  
rubbed her eyes as they were still foggy, adjusting to the little amount  
of light coming from the…

(…front)

Sephiroth's silhouette had reached forward and pulled her out with  
both arms before she could comprehend what was happening.  
She groaned audibly and grumbled, "…What is it now?"  
"Breakfast," he said and put her down.  
Yuffie's eyes instantly brightened and she exclaimed, "Okay!"  
"Go wash up, your clothes are in the bathroom," Sephiroth instructed  
and she immediately sprinted to the bathroom.

The moment the door shut closed, he heard an agitated scream  
"WHATTTTTTT!" and the next moment, the door had slammed open  
and out walked a furious little girl (who seemed to be capable of all  
nasty things). "CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT IS THE MEANING  
OF THIS?" She hastily held up a uniform of black and black.  
"WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO CHANGE INTO THIS?" she fumed.

Ah, the slamming of doors and anguish screams were so expected. It  
was just like what he had predicted. Sephiroth grinned to himself  
before putting on a straight face and turned his head from the television  
(which was showing Spongebob Squarepants) and blinked blankly into  
her face on purpose. The action only served to exaggerate his next  
sentence which he shrugged nonchalantly, "Ain't it obvious enough?  
You're coming training with me." Then he turned back to watch Patrick   
Starfish and Spongebob dig out treasure in Bikini Bottom.

"WHAT!" Yuffie knew it. She knew it the moment she saw the uniform  
hanging in the bathroom. She just needed a confirmation to strike her out  
of her disbelief, her shock. It must be retribution, it must be. Why would   
this happen to her! She cursed silently that she forgot to bring along her  
Luck Plus material. Perhaps that was the answer. Spongebob Squarepants  
had the cheek to comment, "Wow, you're really lucky." That was it! EVEN  
THE CARTOONS WERE MOCKING HER. Her braincells screamed out  
in agony as she stared at his back.

"Change up and eat your breakfast."  
"BUT"  
"No."  
"Don't I…""No."   
"…get any say in this?"  
"No."  
"FINE! LET'S DO IT YOUR WAY THEN."  
And dear Yuffie headed to the bathroom to change sulkily.

And as she changed, she could just picture the scene of her death. Sephiroth  
would ask her to fight with him politely and there was no way she could refuse.  
Then he would slice her up and make it look like an accident. The floor would  
be stained in her blood and no one would dare question the General's  
slaughter. She would die with so many regrets like no having the Knights of the  
Round Table materia, explore the …

"Eep!" She shrieked when a knock on the bathroom door struck her to the truth.  
She was really going to die! The pictures in her mind would not go away.   
Opening the door only to find herself looking up at the General, her horror  
stricken face was undeniable.

The situation was comical. One moment she was sulking, and in the next, all life  
seemed to have been drained out of her body. Sephiroth fought the urge to   
laugh, taking in a deep breath; he placed his hand on her head only to cover  
her whole face. "You're not going to die, stupid." With that, he kneeled down  
and started fixing her tie which she had messed up in her stupor.

Upon hearing that statement, Yuffie relaxed a bit and instantly went back to her  
fury self. Glaring at Sephiroth as he fixed her tie, their eyes met in that split second  
before he stood up and made his way to switch off the television. It was in that  
split second Yuffie saw a tint of softness in his eyes. She bowed her head and  
looked at the neatly fixed tie and murmured, "I didn't say I was going to die."

"You looked like you were going to anyway," Sephiroth taunted.

This INSENSITIVE MORON! Couldn't he least be more subtle when he eavesdrops!

"Shut up," she said.

Yuffie glared at his back. Why was she even having this argument in the first place!   
…ARGH, it was that DAMN training he made her go.

The next thing she knew, she was already at the dining table, served with cereal and milk.

Breakfast had a darkened atmosphere; it would have caused storms to hide in shame.   
Yuffie stirred her cereal in milk repeatedly, starring at the repeated pattern it almost  
made her calm. Sephiroth watched her as he ate and stated, "I would be forced to  
feed you if you don't stop doing that."

Seeing that she gave no reaction, he reached for her jaw, forced it open and stabbed  
into her mouth his fork full of grilled sausage goodness. "Awww aww awww… mmmm,  
mmmm." She munched with a delightful expression on her face before realizing Sephiroth  
was looking. Embarrassed, she gave him a dirty glare, then ignored him and ate mindlessly.  
Sephiroth arched a playful eyebrow at her and smirked.

After they finished, Sephiroth plucked her from her seat immediately. She struggled   
ferociously and whined, "Nooooo… AHHHHH, NOOOOOOO."  
"Then I'll have to cut down your chocolate supplies," he deadpanned.  
"WHAT? Noooooo." With that, she sprinted to the refrigerator and stuffed her  
pockets with chocolate bars before heading out the door where Sephiroth was  
waiting.  
"Make sure you keep your part of the deal…" she grumbled before following him  
obediently to the lift.

The silent atmosphere in the lift made Yuffie very uncomfortable. She took out a  
chocolate bar and ate furiously while Sephiroth fought his inner urge to look at her.  
Just before they reached their destination (basement 1), he knelt down to her height  
and wiped her chocolate-coated mouth with his sleeve, surprising her slightly.  
Cupping her cheek, he whispered into her ear, "I'll protect you." With that, the  
doors opened as The General stood up and left a stunned Yuffie to step out later.

Note: Apologies to all out there who were anticipating this chapter.  
School's been crazy. Bear with me, I do miss you people you know.


	12. Twelve: SECTION 14A

NOTE: _Italics - Sephiroth's JENOVA-dominant side in his head  
_ **BOLD - Sephiroth's voice laced with JENOVA**

Chapter Twelve: Section 14-A

Yuffie peeked out of the lift. What greeted her eyes was  
an assembled army of SOLDIER, she immediately felt a  
wave of nausea hit her head and her knees turn into jelly.  
Shuddering, she felt them give way to hit concrete floor  
when Zack pulled her by the hand and positioned both  
him and her into the first row. Blinking her eyes from the  
abrupt shock and surprise, it relieved her to find a familiar  
face in the multitude. Still his grin and words of "You'll be  
alright!" were not assuring enough to instill peace in her,  
her body was as rigid as a dead body. She made a few  
glances towards him to imitate his SOLDIER position,  
sincerely hoping that no one would notice sh- eh well,  
"he" was a fake SOLDIER as well as a girl.

The mumbling hushed down to complete silence; her  
ears caught the echo of boots hit ground then the loud  
silence took over. Frantic, she turned her view from the  
buoyant Zack to a very questionable General Sephiroth.  
His words "I'll protect you" rewound and played over  
and over again in her head, she had her doubts yet  
contradictory, she could also bet her materia on that one  
sentence.

Sephiroth took a quick glance at Yuffie (who stood beside  
Zack), before he addressed his comrades.  
**"This war is inevitable. Die by honor, you fools,"**  
with a voice laced with vengeance.

Yuffie saw a flicker of arrogance flash past his eyes as he  
continued his instructions to the horde  
**"Train hard and paint the skies red with blood."**  
It ended with such an icy tone and a Cheshire grin to match  
that Yuffie was afraid her veins would freeze.

_(Yes, Mother. Such dispensable lives, those mortals.)_

In that moment, his words swarmed her head like a tide,  
"I'll protect –", "—red with blood", "I'll protect—", "—war",  
"—inevitable", "—protect you", "paint the skies red—"  
as she stared at him in shock and confusion while the files of  
soldiers marched off to their training grounds.

His eyes landed on her. Yuffie awkwardly bowed her head  
down and read her boots intently with fear. It was almost as  
if her chest was tight and it was hard to breathe. Sephiroth  
was emitting an aura of danger, one which she wanted to hide  
immediately, cower in a corner, just to be away from him.  
He strode his way to her and then cupped her jaw firmly,  
having her to stare at him in the face.

"I'm placing you in Section 14-A," and with that, he left.

Confused at the overwhelming shower of emotions the  
General had displayed all within a half hour, she stood there  
unsure of what to do. The soldiers around her wolf-whistled  
softly, some jeered while the rest cheered ("YOU SEXY  
THANG", "SWEET!") when the General was deemed to be  
out of hearing range. Switching her attention to the soldiers  
who were whistling, she glared at them till they shut up.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, BULLY THE NEWCOMER huh?  
Her unvoiced complaints rambled in her head. Somewhere near her,  
she heard a throat being cleared and a significant "Erm, Yuf—Oops,  
I mean, Oaks, you've just been placed in the unofficial homo sector."

Zack had to cover her mouth to muffle her scream of agony and wrath.

As he led her to her sector, she could swear that every pair of eyes  
in the training grounds was on her like a hawk on its prey. It gnawed  
her conscience like a mouse nibbling on bare flesh that their stares  
were indecent, and she tried to convince herself since they thought "he"   
was gay, it should turn them off to keep their hands away from her.   
At that thought, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to   
see two familiar faces.

"Hey it's us, Shears and Hatters, remember?"

Absent-mindedly she nodded her head.

"Didn't expect to see you here," the one she assumed was Hatters for  
he had such old features like the one in Alice in Wonderland said.

"Yeah, heard you got assigned to Section 14-A, didn't know you swung  
that way boy, Grandpa's gonna be so disappointed," 'Shears' commented.

She felt rage building in her petite body and glared at them."Just  
because I'm assigned there doesn't mean I swing that WAY!  
I AM NOT A –" She was stopped by a hand on her mouth and  
zoomed in on the offending hand. "I'm sure you're not, my dear."  
The kind face with plucked eyebrows and shoulder-length hair  
brought her aside after nodding to Zack who was quite stunned  
at the situation (who then proceeded to shrug his shoulders and walk away).

AUTHOR: Hey, I'm back :) Not a very sweet chapter I suppose but I thank you for all the  
lovely reviews from you patient readers.  
Would love to have your reviews and constructive criticism, kisses coming up:)


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